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I’ve always been really apathetic toward holidays, especially Turkey Day —- Or so I thought. So to my surprise, I find myself actually looking forward to this Thanksgiving, and I think I’ve figured out why.

Yesterday my husband and I went onto a turkey hunt, with the goal being a turkey for 10 people. He said he wants to have a big and proper Thanksgiving dinner with some of his friends who “have no where else to go” on Thanksgiving. I laughed. I know his friends pretty well, and I know that he’s talking about the international Chinese students at his law school.

“But have you hosted a Thanksgiving dinner before?” I asked him.

After we found our turkey at an organic grocery store, and started heading back home, I posed him the question that I already knew the answer to.

“No, not really.” He shrugged happily, totally unaffected by my lack of enthusiasm.

I’m not surprised. He grew up in China and has lived in the States for only two years. I don’t expect him to have had experience planning such an American holiday-related event.

“But why all of a sudden?” I asked.

“Hm… I guess it’s just a time when everyone gets together and have fun, family or not.”

Especially if their families are temporarily unreachable, I thought. His words touched me.

Red leaves twirled at my feet as I walked down unfamiliar and familiar New York City streets. I watched passers-by walk hurriedly, with hands in their pockets, bracing themselves against the cold, and wondered how many people will be traveling thousands of miles, perhaps, to be with their families on Thanksgiving this year.

Having grown up in a Chinese family that never celebrates any American holidays (or any Chinese holidays, for that matter), I’ve always been somewhat envious of my friends who get to sit down with their families and relatives to talk about their lives over turkey and gravy. Because of that strange pang of envy, and my stubborn denial of it, I decided that I just don’t like the holiday.

But truly, I just want to have a normal Thanksgiving dinner like everyone else, with turkey, gravy, cranberries, and many smiling faces. Now that I have family of my own and friends who are like family to me, looks like I’m going to have one this year. I suppose that is the reason for the change in my attitude toward Turkey Day, and I’m really thankful for it!