Skip to main content

When I was a child, I was considered as a typical extrovert: I could make new friends very easily at playgrounds; I was always surrounded by a circle of friends at school; I responded to the teachers very actively in class. In almost everybody’s eyes, I seemed to be quite easy- going with people.

As I grew older, more introverted personality traits start to mix with my original extroverted persona. I do have a few close friends, but generally I don’t know that many people either in high school or in college. I do hang out with friends at times, but if I keep meeting up with people for more than three days without enough time to stay alone with myself, I would feel lost and become completely exhausted. After I came to the States, my indifference to parties further makes me look like an introvert – so I can’t help wondering: did I lose my extrovert self?  If I’m an extrovert, should I go to more social events and get to know more and more new people?

However, on many other occasions, I still remain quite talkative. Every time when I’m going to do a presentation on a topic of my own interest, I’m nervous but also very excited to present it in front of my fellow classmates, so I usually express myself very comfortably. If I happen to have good chemistry with someone, I could also talk a lot with him or her on a variety of topics and enjoy the process of exchanging ideas.

Thus, am I an extrovert or introvert? Could I be both at the same time? Or could I be an extrovert at some occasions while being introvert in other aspects? I know someone who doesn’t talk much in real life but post actively online, so is he extrovert or introvert? And vice versa, I have a friend who loves networking with different people but doesn’t even use social network like Facebook, so is she extrovert or introvert?

As for me, I always need to spend time alone reading or writing to refresh myself, but when someone brings up interesting topics, I could become instantly passionate and totally engaged.

I suppose that in trying to describe a person’s “personality,” it is never a dichotomy between extroversion and introversion. And even when we say the word “extrovert”, there are actually many different ways one can express oneself. Thus, it’s always premature or even risky to label someone as an introvert or extrovert rashly. More importantly, even though we live in a world full of labels today, we shouldn’t let those labels define us and distort our opinions of an extroverted introvert, or vice versa, or somewhere in between.