Last Friday, there was a counter-protest against the “Free Speech” rally (which accepted white supremacists) in Boston, and I was afraid to go.
I had these two conflicting trains of thought: it’s Boston – liberal, activist-happy Boston. There can’t be that big of a turnout. In hindsight, there were maybe 10,000 counter protesters and twenty white nationalists. But this other, much stronger and louder train of thought won out: how can you risk it? It’s not like I expected such mobilization in Charlottesville either.
I’m a brown woman – if the Nazi and Confederate flag holders do have guns, at whom will they aim?
I realize that’s not a fair thing for me to say. There were braver black and brown souls who counter-protested at rallies all over the US. Who am I to not stand with them? It’s not like I want them to get hurt instead of me. Plus, I believe in the counter-protest’s definition of “Free Speech” far more than I believe in one that may be mixed in with the white supremacists.
That being said, I’m having trouble defining “Free Speech” myself. I’m reminded of Shuping Yang’s commencement speech, the one where she, as a Chinese international student, celebrates her immersion in the ideological and philosophical freedom of an American university. The speech went viral on Youtube, and extended past her fellow students’ ears. Most notably, Chinese nationalists who threatened her and her family if she didn’t apologize for betraying her country. And she did eventually apologize.
Whether or not you agree with Shuping’s message, she was saying something that felt true to her, and it was reciprocated with hate and threats of violence. That’s a steep price for speech, something that’s supposed to be free in this country. I fear putting myself in that situation, where I express my truth in a public forum – though instead of a commencement ceremony it would be a counter-protest – and my physical body would be punished for it. For speaking their truths, Shuping got death threats and a woman in Charlottesville was killed by a car plowing through a crowd of people.
Sure, white supremacists also feel they are speaking their truths, and that they feel that people of color are taking away their right to continue speaking their truths. I should say, my acknowledgement of white supremacists’ feelings is not my endorsement; I still think they’re fighting for white power, not for freedom from their recent “oppression.” That being said, there are at least two sides to every battle, two sides to every coin, heads and tails, far right, white supremacists or left-wing counter-protesters – all are fighting for their freedom to speak. It is beyond left and right, black and white – there are inlets and edges of every coin. Each side feels entitled, and fight to speak to be heard. But who is truly listening to the layers of views and interpretations? As each side fights harder, people like me – who aren’t the bravest but still have our own truths – are afraid to participate in volatile and potentially violent free speech rallies.
There’s this huge asterisk after Free Speech*
*not including death threats, gunshots, vehicular manslaughter, and other sick forms of violence.
I’m not blaming anyone for showing up to demonstrate their belief. But when they back their words with the promise of violence, it feels more like them taking our speech away, instead of them fighting for their own and listening – for social change and for greater good.